Becoming Dominant

Question from Lisa: I and my slave husband have been trying D/s for about 6 months. We had some major setbacks and we couldn’t continue with the lifestyle due to a family member living with us and becoming ill. I was feeling abandoned. How do I deal with feeling?

Aiden Answers: Kudos to you two for exploring!  I’m not sure what about your situation is making you feel abandoned. Perhaps you could elaborate so that I might offer you some better advice.  As for your situation, rest assured that you are far from alone! Nearly every monogamous couple that engages in BDSM has to navigate the constraints of family. Fear not!  There are lots of great ways to handle this dilemma. For instance, negotiation and play can take place behind closed doors or when your family member is out of your house. The actions and symbols of D/s can be made to look more mundane so as not to attract the attention of those outside of the dynamic. For instance, a special necklace or ring could be worn to show ownership in lieu of a collar. The most important thing to remember is to be sure to make alone time for you and your partner to enjoy each other. Find you the schedule of your house guest and plan special time accordingly. Take a BDSM themed vacation and get to live it up for a whole week!  Ian Rath and I just went to FetCon in Tampa and saw lots of kinky couples flaunting their special love with no fear of judgment. Let me know how it goes?