Question from Eden: How can I encourage my husband to become dominating. I love his touch and big black cock I love it so that I wish to submit to him. I feel he views the scenes too dramatic. We have played a little with bondage, I really enjoyed it. I think about it all the time. I try to tease where slutty whore lingerie etc. But he won’t fuck me. I am a very beautiful exotic milf that craves to be dominated.

Aiden Answers: Hello dear. Without a longer conversation, it would be impossible for me to completely advise you on a precise course of action.  However, at first glance, it looks like you’ve got the classic problem of “submissive lead foot.”  I’ll explain with an example from my recent trip to Fetcon with Ian Rath to teach a live XRU.  There was a married couple with a beginning D/s dynamic in which the sub wished the top would be more Dom in the bedroom and explore activities beyond the beginner realm.  The sub claimed the Dom “didn’t like” doing D/s play.  When I questioned the Dom, they revealed that they liked it very much but were not yet ready for heavier or more intense play.  My advice to the submissive in that case was to allow the Dom to grow into themselves as a top and to practice patience, love, and attention to the Dom’s needs in order to allow the trust to grow.  Only with connection and trust can a D/s relationship flourish.  Now in your case, it’s obvious to me that you are looking for objectification play, which is a very advanced form of play.  You use the vernacular “big black cock” and “milf.”  These are both very heavy objectification phrases generally associated with the sort of objectification play seen in pornography.  Sweetie, SLOW DOWN!  Before you can be a “milf”  you must be a loving partner, a good little girl, a caring, attentive and sub who anticipates and fulfills her Dom’s every personal need.  REMEMBER, you two are people, not objects, not fantasy characters.  Let’s learn to walk before we learn to run.  As for your need to express what I believe to be a fantastic dirty mind, I have a suggestion.  Start a blog for dirty stories.  Write down all your fantasies about your husband and put them on the internet under a pseudonym.  You have a very dirty little creature inside you and it needs attention while you work on your relationship.  Writing is a great outlet for that. Write me back in 6 months and update me on your progress.