Question from Love Stricken: I’ve fallen in love with my pro-domme. How do you deal with this? We see so much of each other (we probably have spent about 4% of our waking hours together since we first met–really). We connect in so many ways, and not just behind closed doors. It’s not just a professional relationship–we’re real-life friends, too. But: She and I each have real-life partners. Neither of us is looking to make a change there (at least, not right now). But, so help me, if we were both suddenly single, I’d do nearly anything to get her to consider an IRL relationship. As it is, the time we spend together is something almost magical–and then it’s time to go back to reality. I can cope with the situation as it is (although it’s not easy)–but I spend a lot of time fantasizing about what it would be like to have the “whole package”. I can never tell if I’m wasting my time thinking about “what I would do if…” type questions. Not that I can keep myself from thinking about them. Does the one-in-a-million scenario ever happen in your experience? Or should I just do my best to forget it and enjoy what we do have?
Aiden Answers: Love is the most beautiful thing in the world. Not everyone gets to experience that level of connection combined with the floaty, fun chemicals that go along with the experience. Every love ever felt should be treasured. Savor every minute of it. Love, like life, is a finite concept. All things must come to an end eventually. There is no reason to force the transmutation of silver into gold. That said, daydreaming has been proven by scientific research to boost cognitive functioning. So fantasize away! It’s actually really good for you! As for the possibility of those dreams coming true, it’s hard to say. Every single person, as well as romantic entanglement, is unique. Do pro-dommes sometimes marry their clients? Yes. Is that always the case? No. My main concern here is for your present partner. Does he/she know about your feelings for this other person? You should make sure all is right with your present entanglement before seeking to pursue a more serious situation elsewhere. Nobody likes a liar. Don’t forget that Karma is a bitch! Always be open and true with your feelings with your primary. To be false is to be a bad partner. That sort of behavior is not only damaging to your partner but also to you. Take the time to really think about what you are doing and what you want. How do you even know dating your pro-domme would be as good as your fantasy? “IRL” situations rarely live up to our fantasies. You should write me back with new developments as this progresses. Life is a journey after all. I’d love to be kept up to date on your signposts!